Many of the things I hear on a day-to-day basis, being an elementary art teacher, really are staggeringly funny and/or poignant. I figured I should begin recording them for posterity. More will show up as I hear them, but these are some that I have written down on bits and parts and edges of paper scraps which float around in my drawer, threatening to get lost.
"Bow to your sensei!" - while looking sternly at a handful of paintbrushes, grade 3
"Why aren't you married? You're pretty enough." - grade 2
"Excuse me, I have two questions. Number one, do you have addy kleedex, and two, why can't i stop thikkigg about gelato??" - girl with stuffy nose, grade 2
(to which I replied, "One, the kleenex are on the bookshelf by the door, and two, what flavor gelato?" to which she replied "Raspberry and chocolate." "Well no wonder," I said.)
"Is it okay if I put a hairy chest on my fish?" - grade 2
"I need gravy. Turkey's no good without lots of gravy. I shall search for thee, gravy, I will search high and low!..." - boy at my lunch table, grade 4
"My dog ran away this weekend but we found her in the woods behind our house that we call Terabithia. She's a Golden Doodle, but much more Golden than Doodle. I love strawberries because they're so creamy and delicious. But my mom thinks I might be allergic." - girl at my lunch table, grade 3
"I'm naming my guy George W. Fish." - grade 2
"Um, excuse me, I think your shirt looks a little bit like a picnic table."
- grade 2, upon observing my [very cute] red gingham cotton jacket
"Goodbye, Miss Coates, see you in the future!" - girl in grade 3, the same one who gives me a squeeze at the beginning, in the middle, and at the end of every class.
"I know what genealogy is: it's when you rub the lamp and the genie gives you three wishes...in a tree." - grade 3
"I ate paper by accident once...it was confetti at a party. It fell into my Diet Coke. Blech." - grade 2