27 January 2010

SLOTH



Some symptoms of sloth-like behavior are....
sleepiness.
a sedentary state of being.
yawning.
having three toes.
more sleepiness.

This behavior can result in....
dirty dishes.
incomplete projects.
belly fat.
long grass.
dehydration.
falling out of trees.
piles of laundry (clean, just still piled).
self-loathing.

For the past two days I have gone straight home, gotten directly into bed or under a blanket on the couch and fallen effortlessly, sweetly asleep. This might sound lovely and cozy. It is, in the moment. But when I wake up from the nap and my eyes fall upon one of my flabby thighs or the bag I packed a couple of weeks ago still lying in the corner holding four inconsequential items, I am defeated. "It can stay there a few more days," I say to my inner sloth.

What's this? My inner sloth wants food! A hearty dinner at 8:30 after a nap and right before bed is not the most healthful routine but, "just a couple of days won't hurt." A half-inch of bourbon with plenty of ice and a bit of water before bed isn't bad, either. But almost every night? Really? Oh self, get a hold of yourself! Lay off the peanut butter! SNAP OUT OF IT!!

Winter has got his icy claws clamped tight 'round my will-power. He forces me indoors, to the cupboard, then under covers. Spring is waiting, though, to thaw his vice-like grip. Surely as the sun rises, she will appear. She'll spread her warm tendrils through the air and shake me out of my mad stupor. In the meantime, I've got Mean Old Mister Winter to contend with.